You see them lots of places, at the mall, restaurants, parks etc, the parent who is yelling and spanking their child just to embarrass them in front of everyone. Some call this cruel, some call it tough love. But what is tough love? Originally, tough love was developed for use by psychologists to deal with adult drug and mental patients. This was a good method to use with adults at their worst, but what about children still learning about life? How can a child really differentiate love from an act of aggression? They cant, and if this act is repeated enough, the child will believe it. A humiliated child is a emotionally crippled child who can confuse love with cruelty.
When you look back in history you can really see how this parenting style is not the best, for example, Hitler was said to be raised in this "tough love" type of parenting, while Albert Einstien was said to be spoiled, i think everyone is getting where I'm coming from.
Punishment and humiliation are never the answer because they create anger and resentment in the child.
Punishment interferes with the child's ability to learn from experience, if you treat your child with tough love, he/she will more than likely fear new things because they fear if they do wrong they will be publicly embarrassed.
That is why i think that the tough love approach to parenting should be drastically reconsidered.
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http://www.articleslash.net/Self-Improvement/200005__Empathy-or-Tough-Love-Make-the-Right-Choice.html
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Unfortunately, many of the parents who consider tough love to be the right way to deal with situations had parents practice tough love with them. It can be a cycle, but cycles can be broken.
ReplyDeleteLittle ones are so sensitive and we need to remember this when we speak to them.
I don’t see how the “tough love” parenting style would benefit anyone. I personally have only seen back feedback from the tough love parenting approach. Young children especially need a parent to teach and love them. They need a positive roll model to guide them. I could see children who have parents that use “tough love” growing up to use physical aggressive behaviour to solve their future problems because they were never shown how to use compassion or kind works to work things out.
ReplyDeleteI dont think tough love is a very effective way of raising a child if you want them to grow up to be "normal". This type of rasising a child could confuse the child. I have seen people raised by tough love and they don't seem as caring or sympathatic towards other people as compared to someone who wasn't raised with tough love
ReplyDeleteI think tough love can teach a child to do things right. They might not be as caring or feel any feelings but they will be used to let down and keep going on with their life. It might not be the right way to do it. I would not raise a child with tough love but it could have its up and downs
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